Marathon #5 - Complete

It's official, I am now a 5 time marathoner. Unfortunately, this past weekend didn't go as I had hoped. As many of you know, I've been trying to break the 4 hour mark for a while. The closest I've come was in Green Bay last year - 4:05. So, it's not as if it's not possible...

I feel like I did all the pre-race stuff right - made sure I drank plenty of water, got plenty of rest, and ate a good meal.

The morning of the race went smoothly as well. My friends, Carrie & Andy, and I made it to the start with no issues. The weather was gorgeous too! All of us felt good and were ready to have a good race.

I started the race feeling good and running right on pace. While my pace slowed a bit by mile 3, I wasn't worried. I figured I was just settling into my groove. By mile 6, I was feeling intense pain in my lower back. I've never had this happen to me during a run, so I had hoped it would sort of just go away. (I know, wishful thinking) Well, it did NOT go away. In fact, it just kept getting worse.

Some of you may be doing the math already... If my back hurts at mile 6 and makes it difficult to run at at all...then I have 20.2 MORE miles left to run!

I decided to trudge onward (knowing in my gut I wasn't going to hit my goal) and run for as long as I could, at a slower pace. I was doing low 9:00s until about the halfway point. That's when my back said, "Hey, seriously, knock it off!" Surprisingly, I reached the halfway point in about 2 hours - SHOCKING! But, there was absolutely no way I could continue like that for 13.1 more miles.

So, my new plan was to do a combination of walking and running. The funny thing is that my legs were completely FINE for the whole race! They never cramped or complained to me once! But, whenever I'd try to run for an extended period, my back would hurt worse, probably because it couldn't handle the constant pounding.

Your mind can play funny tricks on you. I could have sworn I walked a ton more than I ran in the second half, but my mile splits don't lie. Don't get me wrong, they're not impressive, but they tell me that I was obviously spending most of the time running. All of my second half splits were in the 10:00 to 11:00 range. If I was running 9:20s before, I can't have been walking too much to keep this pace. I tried to run through areas where there was good crowd support and then take walking breaks in between.

By the time I could see the University of Illinois, I just wanted it to be over. At this point, I had considered quitting twice. Just my luck, there were no sag wagons near me either time. Once I entered the football field, I ran as hard as I could to the finish at the 50 yard line.

I hadn't looked at my watch much over the second half because I KNEW I was well past my goal. So, when I saw my final time on the clock as I finished, the disappointment was HUGE!

I wanted a minute to myself to just "be" and to get a bit of my anger out. Unfortunately for my friend Carrie, who is awesome, she was right there to give me a hug. My response? "Carrie, I need a minute, seriously..." Poor girl, what can I say? I was mad and didn't really want to talk to anyone at that moment! By the way, Carrie and Andy both had awesome races and PR'd!

It's only been a few days, so I wouldn't say I'm over the disappointment yet. It would be different if I thought under 4 hours wasn't attainable, but I know it is. Both of my 20 mile runs were under 3 hours, so the goal was in sight.

The hardest part is knowing I put all this work in over the last 4 1/2 months, only to NOT meet my goal. While I'm happy for all who raced well, I had hoped I'd have the same experience. I definitely feel beaten down and unsure of whether I even want to try another marathon. I know, I probably sound like I'm being dramatic, but it's just how I'm feeling right now.

I've done my best to find some positives:

1) I have now run 5 marathons in the last 2 1/2 years - it all started with wanting to run 1!

2) I still finished the race, no matter how much pain I was in. My mental and physical strength were definitely pushed to the limit.

3) I had a great time with my friends and all from the running club who ran.